


Hold on for dear life

by inoue6



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Feels, Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, Drowning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Injury, Major Character Injury, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26103205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inoue6/pseuds/inoue6
Summary: When a reconnaissance mission in the snowy mountains goes south, it's up to Bucky to save your life.I suck at summaries, sorry.Rating Mature for swearingThis work is a re-write of Mutant-to-Mutant Contact by Tawabids. Basically I've borrowed the plot (with permission), swapped the characters and wrote the story again. All kudos goes to OP, it's theirs story anyways ❤️
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	Hold on for dear life

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Mutant-to-Mutant Contact](https://archiveofourown.org/works/519471) by [Tawabids](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tawabids/pseuds/Tawabids). 



The mission was reconnaissance and recruit. SHIELD got a word about an enhanced individual living alone in the mountains and you and Bucky were tasked with bringing the guy to the Compound. During the short briefing you only got a first name, location and a vague description of some kind of psychic powers. You yourself being a telepath were perfect for the job and Bucky, itching for a mission after a dry spell lately, volunteered to go with you. You thought there was another reason to do with his feelings, feelings that you weren't oblivious to and reciprocated fully but there would be a time for that talk after you were done with your assignment.

That's how you found yourself in a car with the deadliest ex-assassin heading to a remote cabin in the mountains in the middle of the winter. Bucky didn't mind the cold, he got used to it through the long years in Russia, you on the other hand was not a fan. You tried to turn up the heating in your car only to find out it's already at maximum and you won't get any warmer. Groaning, you buried yourself deeper in your big coat which gained you an amused chuckle from Bucky.

"We're almost there, doll" he announced, smiling fondly in your direction. You decided to ditch a sarcastic remark about super solider metabolism and settled on a small hum. After fifteen minutes you were driving up a previously rocky road up the cabin, currently covered in a thick layer of snow, arriving by the cabin shortly thereafter.

Even though you were freezing your fingers off, the view from the top was spectacular. You could see a snow covered peak, towering behind the cabin. At the foot of the mountain, roughly 600 feet from your location you could see a stunning lake, frozen over the winter. There was no path visible to reach it, covered by the snow but you could probably guess where it was by the way the trees were thinning. The cabin itself was on the smaller side, not a full house but not a ranger's cabin either. The roof was covered in snow, just like everything else but there was a small trail of smoke going from the chimney, confirming that someone had been living there. You hoped that you would have the pleasure of a nice, friendly conversation and hot tea to go with that. Bucky exited the car and so did you, the fresh snow crunching under your boots. You took another look around, thanking whoever was listening for arriving when you did when you spotted dark clouds advancing fast on you. Getting snowed in while driving would be very cold and unpleasant, getting snowed in in a warm cabin with a nice company would be better. 

When you got closer to the door you saw Bucky's anxiety, the metal plates in his hand softly moving. He was alert and ready to spring into action at the first sight of danger. You placed your hand on his biceps and squeezed lightly to let him know it's gonna be fine. Bucky's stance visibly relaxed yet his mind told you a different story. You didn't read his thoughts, you had an understanding that you would stay out of his head unless he specifically asked you to. You didn't have to read his thoughts though, you very gently brushed his mind, merely a passing whisper of a touch. When you did, you were instantly flodded with wave of uneasiness, anxiety and worry. 

Deciding to discuss this issue later, adding it to your growing pile of things to discuss you softly knocked on the door. There was no answer for a few moments but just when you went to knock a second time the door opened.

The man, John was his name, looking around 30 was sporting a thick, wool coat, heavy-duty boots, work pants and a hunter's cap. His long beard look unkempt, just like his hair sticking out of his cap.

"Who are you? What do you want?" he asked, hostility apparent in his gruff voice. There goes my cup of tea you thought.  
Deciding you had a better chance of talking to him than Bucky you started.  
"Hi, I'm (Y/N) and this is Bucky, we'd like to talk to you, can we come in? I'm freezing here". Your attempt at lightening the mood was met with an impenetrable wall of contempt. He grunted in response but moved to the back of the cabin, leaving the door open as a silent invitation. 

You thought everything was going well until you decided to read his mind. What you found there filled you with horror, dread and an immense need to get as far from there as possible. Bucky must've notice your shift, hand already going for the gun he hid behind his belt but he wasn't quick enough.

"Stop". All it took for John was to say those four letters and Bucky was paralyzed. He tried to move, tried to scream and fight but his body didn't listen. John came back with a shotgun in his hand pointed directly at your chest. Palms up, you let him know you wouldn't be a threat but without knowing what to do, you tried to reason with him.

"John, listen to me. Listen to my voice. It was an accident. You didn't kill her. It was just an accident".  
"Shut up! Just shut up! She died because of me! I don't know how you found me but I need to go, I can't be found again!" John was getting more agitated with every second which only made the situation worse. 

While he was talking, you mentally asked Bucky to just cooperate and maybe you'll make it out alive. He asked why was he unable to move but John shifted his attention to him and you didn't have time to respond.

"You! Give me your car keys!" he shouted at Bucky and Bucky's hand obeyed, taking out the keys from his pocket and handing them to John.

"Don't move till I leave" he ordered Bucky "and you... go jump in the lake or something" he added in your direction.

You could see Bucky's eyes fill with horror as your feet moved by themselves. You went past him and stepped outside where fresh snow started falling again. Mentally pleading with Bucky to find you, you passed John trying to ignite the car and dissappeared in the woods.

Bucky stood there, unmoving, horrified at how quickly the whole situation escalated. It was obvious John had some sort of mind controlling powers, whatever he said the person had to obey. Berating himself for being caught unprepared, Bucky stated to think about a plan. He couldn't move, not yet but the second he'd be able to, he'd go after you, hoping and praying that he will catch you before you go swimming in the middle of winter. John finally managed to start the car and drove off but Bucky still couldn't move, damn his enhanced hearing.

After what felt like eternity the power paralyzing him started to slowly release its hold. Moment after that Bucky ran out of the cabin trying to find you. The world was blanketed in a fresh layer of snow, making it near impossible to see the direction you took as your footprints were invisible by now. His breathing was shallow and frantic, an early symptom of a panic attack. But Bucky knew he had to be calm and collected if he wanted to save you. How and when did you manage to worm your way into his heart he didn't know. But you were the most important person to him, the only one who didn't care about his past as a Winter Solider and the mere thought of losing you send him spiraling. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Bucky tried to find any clue as to where you went. 

A small brown lump by the tree caught his attention. Practically running to it, Bucky quickly realized it was your glove that you purposefully left for him. The trail of your other glove, scarf and your coat led him by the edge of the lake.

Time itself seemed to slow down when Bucky realized he was too late and you were nowhere to be found. The only indication that you were there was your brown coat he was clutching and a small hole in the middle of the lake ice. Shit shit shit shit. 

He knew that in order to be able to get to you he had to be slow but you didn't have much time. Crouching, Bucky slowly made his way to the middle of the lake where the water swallowed you whole. 

Knowing you probably won't be able to hear him, he screamed with his mind as hard as he could. "(Y/N)! (Y/N) please!"  
A soft brush of consciousness and a small "Bucky" in his head made him release a breath he didn't even know he was holding. 

"I'm coming, sweetheart, I'm coming" he thought, not knowing if you heard him or not anymore. The water was murky and opaque, making it hard to see anything but he reached and tried to fish you out. The water was absolutely freezing but his brain barely registered it in the whole torrent of emotional distress he was experiencing. 

Fuck, you were already too deep to pull you out only with his hand, he'd have to jump after you. Cursing under his breath he braced himself and in one swift motion he slid into the water.

Nothing could prepare him for the absolute assault at all his senses. The overwhelming cold felt like thousands of daggers, stabbing every part of his body simultaneously. But Bucky was a solider, he was trained by HYDRA to always fulfill the mission, no matter what happened to him. And so, with only your name in his mind and your safety as his mission, Bucky slowly swam down, praying he wasn't too late.

He struggled to find you, unable to see or feel but after a moment his numb fingers grabbed onto something. Hoping it wasn't some sort of log or a rock, he pushed with the rest of his already dwindling strength and went for the surface.

Air, even such cold one never tasted sweeter when he broke the surface. Bucky glanced down and experienced another heartbreak in the span of few minutes. He was holding your arm in his, your head barely above the water. The wet strands of your hair were plastered to your face that was too pale. Your lips, slightly parted were turning blue but the worst of it all was how still you were. Later Bucky would go to develop nightmares with that image playing in his mind over and over again.

He was barely holding together, the cold took nearly all his strength but his mission was not over yet. He found you, but you were still in the water and needed to somehow get to the shore and then back to the cabin.

Bucky tried two times to get out and two times ice broke sending you both into the waters. Starting to loose hope, thinking that it'll be the end for you both, he pushed on the ice for the third time. This time however, somehow it supported his weight as he pulled you out of the water. Thank God for small miracles. Bucky took a moment to recover and proceeded to pull you back to the shore. 

Bucky found your coat, discarded haphazardly some minutes before and placed you on it. He placed his shaky fingers on your pulse point and for a few agonizing moments he waited, prayed to feel something. This time however luck was not on his side. Agony, pure and white-hot agony filled his whole being as he realized he lost you, his friend, his sunshine, his love. Tears ran freely down his face and for a brief moment of clarity he wondered when was the last time he cried real tears. But Bucky Barnes wasn't one to give up easily. And he wouldn't give up on his girl even though your chances were slim.

With one hand on your forehead and the other under your chin, he lifted your head slightly, placed his lips onto yours and breathed air into your lungs. This is not how he imagined your first kiss but if he gave up now, it'd be your last. A new wave of determination washed over him when he interlocked his finger and started pushing on your sternum. With each push he tried to reach out to you, called your name in his mind over and over again. With each breath he prayed for you to open your eyes and say his name. 

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.  
Breath.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.  
Breath.

"Come on, doll. Don't ya leave me, not now!" 

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.  
Breath.  
He broke your rib. 

"Please, doll, please come back to me"

One. Two. Three. Fou... He hesitated, when he thought you twitched. He was proven right when a second later you opened your mouth and expelled ice cold water from your lungs. A wave of relief came crashing down on him as he placed one hand on your back, supporting you and rubbing comforting circles as you coughed out all the lake water you swallowed.

"Bucky". After a minute, when the coughing subsided the small whisper escaped your lips. Your voice was raspy, ragged just like your breathing but to him his name never sounded sweeter. You were unable to hold onto your consciousness any longer and your body gave up the fight.

He knew, he knew you were not out of the woods yet, hypothermia could kill you just as sure as drowning could but in that moment, when you whispered his name and was safely tucked in his arms nothing else mattered. Not his own safety or pain, not the damn mission nor Avengers or SHIELD. Only you mattered to him and you were in his arms, alive and breathing.

His breath hitched, overflowed with emotions but there was work to be done. He had to get you back to safety, had to contact Sam and order a medevac. Not dwelling on his whirlwind of joy and anxiety he was experiencing, Bucky cocooned you in your own coat, gently picked you up bridal style and tucked you safely to his chest. Small puffs of breath tickled his neck and assured him that you were safe and breathing in his arms. Bucky was just as strong as Steve was and you were by no means heavy but his muscles protested heavily about the extra weight. His body was slowly shutting down as well and if he didn't make it to the cabin on time, it would probably mean the end for both of you.

With a loud groan, he slowly made his way back to the cabin. Despite it taking only ten minutes before, this time with extra weight and bordering hypothermia it took him twenty five. Bucky warmed a little on the way back, serum and exercise working swiftly to produce body heat and for once in his life he was very grateful for that.

Getting you warmer wouldn't be that easy though, as when he finally arrived, he realized that in his frantic search of you, he left the door wide open. The inside of the cabin was nearly as cold as the outside, fire long since gone out, only a few small embers glowing.  
"Fucking hell, shit shit shit!" Bucky cursed at himself and his recklessness, kicking the door shut behind you.  
"I need a plan, get the cabin and you warm, then contact Sam". He was speaking to himself, out loud to try and focus on the task at hand. Audible commands were easier to follow when his mind didn't conjure up the image of your lifeless body, pale and blue in his arms.

Bucky placed your still form on the couch in the middle of the cabin, checking your pulse to find it sluggish and erratic but beating.

"God, I need to get you warm. Fast". With that, he begrudgingly left you on the couch and went around the cabin to find anything useful. He noticed a small stack of wood by the fireplace, as well as a lighter and tried to light the fire in the fireplace. The small embers that still glowed turned out to be a good base for a fire and with the help of a lighter and an old newspaper he found on the table, two minutes later the fire was on. Bedroom provided him with a stack of blankets, a quilt and two pillows he placed in front of the fireplace.

Bucky swiftly moved to ditching his wet clothes that he discarded haphazardly just where he stood, leaving only his boxers on. His phone was left in his pocket when he dived after you, rendering it useless in contacting anyone. Add that to the ever growing list of mistakes he made during the mission. 

Then it was time to do the same with your clothes. The thought of undressing you made Bucky blush but just like with your "kiss" from before, that's not how any of this was supposed to go. He unwrapped you from your coat and with trembling hands he removed the rest of your dripping clothes, giving you some sense of dignity and leaving the underwear on. His fingers were shaking through the whole process, whether from his body trying to rewarm itself or his nervousness he didn't know. 

Just before he picked you up again he had a thought. You had your phone with you when you exited the car, if you didn't have it in your pants, then it must've been in your coat pocket that was still moderately dry. Fumbling through the coat pockets resulted in a loud, satisfied sigh when he pulled out your dry phone. Bucky smiled, genuinely smiled when he realized that you saved Sam's number in your phone as Bird Man. Quickly typing SOS and requesting medevac, Bucky took the phone with him and went back to you.

You didn't move an inch, your skin so cold to the touch. He knew that by not shivering, your body was slowly shutting down again. Shivers were good, shivers meant you were fighting. You lying deathly still was definitely not a good sign. Bucky moved you from the couch to the quilt he placed beside the fireplace but far enough that you won't warm up to quickly. That was another danger, if you were to warn up too rapidly, your body could go into shock and kill you all the same. 

Bucky took a slow, steadying breath and laid down beside you, cocooning you both under a pile of blankets. The first initial touch of your skin on his send shivers down his spine, God you were so cold. But Bucky Barnes was desperate to save you so he pushed away the discomfort and snuggled close to you. The more shared body area the higher the chance of survival, so Bucky pulled you close to his chest, his flesh hand snaking behind your back. He slid one of his legs between yours, wrapping the other one over yours. Tucking your head to the crook of his neck, he breathed in your scent, letting the smell of your Lavender shampoo relax him a little. It would be very romantic, laying cuddled together in front of a fireplace in different circumstances. The soft glow of the fire illuminated your beautiful features and Bucky somehow found himself falling in love with you even more.

The sound of your phone ringing brought him back to reality. Pulling his hand from the blankets, he picked up the phone, noticing who the caller was.  
"(Y/N), are you all right? I got the SOS, the medics are on their way but it'll take them some time to get..."  
"Sam." Bucky interrupted his friend.  
"Bucky? Where's (Y/N)? Are both of you all right?" Sam sounded extremely worried.  
"I'm fine, (Y/N) ot the other hand..." he trailed off, looking at your unconscious form.  
"Bucky, talk to me, what's going on!" Falcon demanded, his Captain America side taking over.  
"Everything went to shit from the beginning, (Y/N) took a swim in the lake. I'm trying to warm her up but I don't know if it's working and she's not shivering and I..."  
"Bucky, calm down. Is she breathing?" Sam asked.  
"Yes."  
"Good. Did you get rid of her wet clothes?"  
"Yes." Another short reply.  
"Perfect. The best way to warm her up is skin-to-skin contact. As much as possible. You have to strip too. Get a fire started but don't warm her too quickly." Sam's solider mode kicked in this time, keeping his head cool and collected for both of you, remembering what he could about treatment for hypothermia.  
"I did that, I did all of that, she's still not warming up. Sam what if I was too late? What if she..." Bucky didn't want to finish that thought.  
"Hey, focus. You did everything you can, now wait for the medics, keep her warm and update me every hour okay?"  
"Sure." Bucky responded but his thoughts were someplace else entirely. Unconsciously, he clutched you to his chest ever stronger than before, keeping you tight and secure with him. His own exhaustion started to take its toll on him, and soon he fell asleep with you in his arms.

He was waken up violently by someone shaking him, whimpering by his ear. Well, someone shaking by him. It took a second to register where he was and what was happening, opening his eyes to see you shivering beside him. Your face was flushed, no longer deathly pale and your lips started to get rosier, blue tint only barely visible. Bucky brushed a stray strand of hair from your face and you stirred under his touch.  
"(Y/N)? (Y/N) can you hear me?" he tried, voice slightly cracking, betraying his worry.  
"It hurts. " you responded with your mind, unable to say anything.  
"I know, doll. I know. It's gonna be better though, we're here by the fireplace and the team is on it's way. You're safe and sound with me. I've got you, doll." Bucky replied, trying to soothe your quiet sobs but also trying to reassure himself. They're on their way, you're gonna be fine.  
"I'm cold" another thought pushed from you into his head. This time Bucky didn't respond, only kissed the top of your head and held you on for dear life.  
"God, I love you". It escaped his lips when he couldn't contain the relief of knowing you're going to be all right but he didn't mind, having you back meant he'll never let you go again.  
A small smile curled on your lips as you wiggled your hand from his and placed it on his cheek. You send a surge of love, admiration and warmth through him as a reply. You could've swore you felt the soft brush of his lips on your cheek before succumbing to the darkness of unconsciousness. You were content though, knowing Bucky was there and would keep you safe. Bucky was content too, knowing you would be all right, knowing you would be all his. 

That's how it usually is though. You often don't know what you had until you lost it. And Bucky won't let you go the second time.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to read the original story, it's way way better written and honestly more interesting than mine! I just wrote down what I had in my head for a while. Kudos to Tawabids and her story, which you can read here:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/519471
> 
> Also thank you for reading! Please leave a comment, it honestly makes my day ❤️


End file.
